RetroPost: 7.7.05

{Saved from Xanga} Mediocre. Such an interesting looking word for something that means "blah". According to Merriam-Webster... "of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance: so-so, ordinary". I've been thinking about that word lately, and how it pertains to my life. I live in my mediocre house. I dress my mediocre body in my mediocre clothes and drive to my mediocre job in my mediocre car. I don't neccessarily want to be extraordinary. I just want our life to be special. How funny for a word to have antonyms that are antonyms, ranging from exquisite to inadequate. Yup, mediocre is right down the middle. Our House: stuffy, stinky, dirty, messy, broken, crappy yard, badly laid out-- but owned- in a decent neighborhood in a decent town (both of which, when you think about it, are mediocre in of themselves). My Body: chubby, need a haircut, need whiter teeth, need to stop biting my nails, looks terrible naked, out of shape, lazy ass makeup, always looks tired-- but not obese sometimes cute even. My Clothes: they're either too tight or too big, I have no style whatsoever these days-- but I'm not ugly and usually not too scary. My Job: time consuming, boring, redundant, low pay-- but it's easy and I know from experience that it could be a hell of a lot worse! Our car: check engine light, driver side window stuck up, so many miles, shifter on the floor, freaking tiny cup holders, owe $1050 on it still--but it's ours and it goes. Mediocre. I wish I could just be happy with that... or at the very least figure out how to stop being a lazy ass and fix a few things here and there. Argh.