RetroPost: Life is a Shiny Shiny Monsoon

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The whole cliche about "when it rains, it pours" is no frickin' joke. Somewhere to the tune of two months ago, I sat in our car talking with Keizo as we often do and (like AN IDIOT) I said something along the lines of "I have a GREAT feeling about 23. This year is going to be a flipping riverdance of JOY. When I look out towards 23, all I see is leprachauns and baby pandas eating candy JOY JOY JOY!" Yeah, big mistake. As soon as I voiced that little snot bubble of misinformed wisdom, all hell broke loose. Just to make it's point, life let me in on a real monsoon in Florida. The imagery was great, Mr. Life. Shiny shiny life in the form of FREAKIN' DISNEY WORLD (which totally rocks) then you're just walking down the street going "is that a rain drop?" And the sky says "DAMN STRAIGHT IT'S A RAINDROP!!!!" SPLOOOOOSH! Yes thank you I get the point. I've learned my lesson. I shall never challenge you again... *sigh*In other news, our new house is fantastical. At every turn, a lightswitch- as it should be. As there is so little chance of darkness, the shadows retreat. For now. ~FIN~

RetroPost: A girl of her words.

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where is the line between loser and freak? all of us are losers. we rpg, we play yu-gi-oh, we cosplay, we have anime names. we (ok, i) worry about zombies and think seriously on how to defeat them. we do many things- many things that make us very cool losers. but at what point do we become freaks?

i ask this question because at this moment, i'm making good on the vow to never go to chuck's again. i don't know how long i will hold to that vow but after last time, with all the freaks, i found the idea of stepping in to the shop, regardless of the reason, nauseating. so here i stand blogging instead. (loser? yes.) i vaguely feel sad cuz i don't get to hang out with my fellow cool losers but... the freaks. most of the people there are probably just other forms of cool losers but... the freaks. can't deal with the freaks.

so. if you know the answer let me know because there will be that day where i'll be like... doo doo doot doo doo... i'm such a cool loser doin' my thing gonna do this cool losery thing and then BAM i'll have done some sort of freak thing and then there's no going back.

RetroPost: Somewhere in a box is the life I thought I'd lead.

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I have a peanut butter laced spoon hanging from my mouth and it reminds me of days gone by. If I close my eyes and concentrate only on the joy that is peanut butter the year that I've left behind me is almost tangible. When I open them again I'm still here in this room. I hate this room. I vow to never enter this room again once I've left it for good.

Waking up here makes going to work so much worse. Ah, work. I think I shall have to write something about my coworkers one day. Fallon being what it is and MySpace being what it is, I shy from the idea but the cast of characters that fills my day to day are just begging really to be splashed and splattered here for what they really are. Either way- I. HATE. My. Boss.

Meh. Soon enough my friends, I will get to unpack my life. Our life. Most likely a shadow person is peeking over my shoulder reading this so I'm not going to talk about our new life. I know you're there! Damn you! ^_^

OK I'm done.

RetroPost: The end to the week and all humanity.

{Saved from MySpace}

Somewhere deep inside me I had locked up the fact that being a teller really is the most boring job on earth.

It truly is mind-numbingly boring. No really. I actually leave working thinking, "Why does my skull feel so odd? Oh yeah, my mind is completely numb."

Do you think it's bad that throughout the day I actually find myself hoping to get robbed? Just to shake things up a little.

Bleh is my working life. Bleh.

RetroPost: 5.13.07

{Saved from Xanga} It takes a lot for me to run to the secret blog and right now my feelings are so mishmashed I didn't know where else to voice the insanity. Aubree is pregnant. How ridiculous is that? I still have the nail polish on my toes from her wedding. I just got around to washing my bridesmaid dress and she's pregnant. It makes me feel gross inside. I really haven't agreed with their relationship from the start. It seems far too sickening that Andy has this disgusting habit of marrying on the fly and getting his new brides pregnant instantly. She isn't part of the rivalry thank God. The Rivalry is between Missy and Noah and us. I still pray to God often (selfishly I suppose) that they don't have a baby until after we do. Also lumped in that prayer is that our child is normal, healthy and physical problem free. (Please please please dear God) Above all things including this silly Rivalry that is my biggest worry. I also feel woogy about the Aubree and Andy thing because according to her it happened their wedding night. Two weeks ago. If I were her I don't think I could spread the word about the impending lil Dixon until I knew my pregnancy was out of the woods seeing as how horrible her track record is health wise. So here I am. Jealous. Freaked. Confused. Upset. Happy. And downright scared for them, their marriage, and her health. And the health of the baby. I barely know them. So I'm torn between not caring a bit and feeling so empty for her since whatever happens, she's totally alone. ;_; God. Watch over all of us in whatever comes our way

RetroPost: For all intents and purposes...

{Saved from MySpace}

I am a Zombie Hunter.

I have the official handbook. I know what others do not know. My knowledge could save you all.

I have the official uniform. As of this moment, all will know I am a Zombie Hunter and will turn to me as their leader when they are in their time of need.

Unfortunately you will all die.

I can't protect you or myself. The zombies will come at you and I won't be able to get them away. They will bite me and your treasure trove of knowledge will be gone.

If you are all worried... blame Victor for your demise.

He is the death of us all.

RetroPost: Panic Panic Panic

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Errrr my goosh...

Today we actually went out to the empty lot of dust and weeds and talked to our contractor.

Last time I checked people 'round my age don't talk to contractors. For any reason. Especially not when they're about to build your new house. Especially especially when that people 'round my age doesn't currently have a job.

We're setting things into motion on the assumption that I'll have a job by May at the latest but... well, I'm sure a I can get a job by then but it just feels like no one wants me!!! ;_;

Anyway, I'm excited and tremendously panicked. *sigh*

Life is going to start again.

RetroPost: 2.9.07

{Saved from Xanga} How can everything be looking up and then crash out all around me? I feel incredibly naive for even thinking for one second that things would work out perfectly. I thought I expected nothing. I find that I truly was holding my breath. I suppose it was also very naive of both of us to go on these "new life, new jobs" shopping sprees of ours when we really didn't have any true income coming in. What is that called? Putting all your eggs in one basket? No, no. It's called counting your chickens before they hatch. Actually, it's kind of both. I feel like I'm either going to throw up or scream. Or both. So now Billy's all set (wardrobe wise anyway) for this cushy office job that could help our life out of purgatory. I was all hyped to clean the closet today but seeing all those dress shirts and brand new slacks hanging neatly in an expectant row... it kinda killed the mood. What are we going to do? We already threw caution to the wind in hopes of a brand new life. Several times. We dropped everything and stupidly stumbled our way into my parents' master bedroom aka "our apartment". If I never see these four walls again, I will sing praises for whatever got us out of this prison. Ah, it's not as bad as all that only it is NOT a home. We dropped everything AGAIN- quit our jobs and traveled the country. Cool? Yes, very. But now here we are in this ROOM! AGAIN! With no reprieve in sight! I can't even imagine what life could be outside of this vicious circle. Now we're in a town that's eating us alive. We're fighting badly again from time to time. Not all the time but I just can't be happy. I don't even think I know what happy is anymore. There's no job market. The housing market is still staring at us blankly wondering why we're not plunking down our $30K and drowning in a mortgage we can't afford for a house that really isn't all that great. Knowing that we'd be paying more than my parents' do for their nice, custom built home and getting not even a fraction of the niceities is nauseating. It seems I'm waiting for an answer to fall from the sky. God~ we really could use some guidance here! Are we meant to make a life in Fallon? Cuz it doesn't look like that's what meant for us. If we're supposed to be us somewhere else.. WHERE?!? Humbled~ Ren

RetroPost: Unfortunately, the season's over.

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I've found that when you have a lot of time on your hands... the strangest things can happen. As some of you know- I've gone from "blissfully ignorant girl" to something I never thought possible...

*A FOOTBALL FAN*

And not just a "Hee-hee my husband likes football and I watch it with him hee-hee" kind of fan. A full on "watch NFL network at least once a day spoutin' off stats and facts I watched the Senior Bowl by myself to see new draft hopefuls and am looking forward to watching the Pro Bowl can't wait for next season know who the new Dallas coach is and that the Bears hired a new quartedback cuz Rex Grossman was dicking off in the Super Bowl don't like Tom Brady and the Patriots and can back it up with facts" kind of fan.

*takes a deep breath... sighs*

So today I decided that I wasn't a complete psycho unless I could name every team in the NFL. I sat down with a piece of paper and wrote down names until I couldn't anymore. Then I looked them up.

The NFL has 32 teams. I named 31. Off the top of my head. Complete with cities, states and regions.

Worry about me!

RetroPost: One Word

{Saved from Xanga} 1. Where is your cell phone? Nonexistent 2. Your spouse? Spectacular 3. Your hair? Cooperating 4. Your mother? Sigh 5. Your father? Blink 6. Your favorite thing? Stretch 7. Your dream last night? Disturbing 8. Your favorite drink? Fizzy 9. Your dream car? Zippy 10. The room you are in? Clean 11. Your ex? Haunting 12. Your fear? Alone 13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Content 14. Who did you hang out with last night? Familia 15. What you’re not? Perfect 16. Muffins? Want 17. One of your wish list items? Home 18. Your dinner tonight? Afterthought 19. The last thing you ate? Candy 20. What are you wearing? Nubby 21. Your tv? Pride 22. Your pet? Children 23. Your computer? OK 24. Your life? Levitating 25. Your mood? Neutral 26. Your holidays? Warm 27. What are you thinking about right now? Food 28. Your car? Away 29. Your work? Sabbatical 30. Summer? Fireworks 31. Your relationship status? Cozy 32. Your dream vacation? Cruise 33. When is the last time you laughed? Recently 34. Last time you cried? Saturday 35. School? Forgotten

RetroPost: 1.2.07

{Saved from Xanga} 1. Where did you ring in 2006? In the car. We were coming back from Reno after Family Day shopping and had already hit Fernley by midnight. Billy said something about another year of chaos and it made me cry. 2. What was your status on Valentine’s Day? Married, of course. We went to dinner in Reno and then almost got stuck driving in a blizzard on the way back home. 3. Were you in school (anytime this year)? Nope. Too darn busy. And lazy. 4. How did you earn your keep? The first half of the year I worked at the Credit Union and Billy worked for my parents. The second half…. Well, we took the equity from our house and have been on lifestyle sabbatical. ^_^ 5. Did you ever have to go to the hospital? Me personally? No, thank god. But we did go visit Tasha when she had Chandler and then we’ve been their ambulance on several occasions over the year. 6. Have you ever encountered the police? No, we’re good. And we can’t afford traffic tickets. I did sit in the car while Billy talked to the police when Tasha’s cousin-in-law stole their car and crashed it. 7. Where did you go on vacation? Oh gosh where didn’t I go on vacation? Let’s see… Arizona twice, Disneyland twice, San Francisco, Washington, New York. We’ve had a helluva time! 8. What did you purchase that was over $500? Our fantastical flat screen flat panel high definition TV and our SUV. 9. Did you know anybody who got married? Heh. My cousin Keri. (7/29/06) And Missy and Noah got married TWICE! (08/19/06 & 09/23/06) God, it’s been a long year. 10. Did you know anybody who passed away? Everybody’s “dad”, Gordon Eddy passed away August 20 after an unsuccessful seven month battle with lung and liver cancer. 11. Have you ran into anybody you graduated high school with? Only the people I’ve stayed in contact with over the years. 12. Did you move anywhere? From my parent’s house to the funky lil shack in Winnemucca and back again. *sigh* I hope we get a house soon… 13. What sporting events did you go to? None but I have been watching football a whole lot more than in years past. And enjoying it. And not being completely ignorant. 14. What concerts did you go to? None. Just musicals. We were front and center for the Phantom of the Opera in New York and we most recently saw The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee on our usual Broadway Come to Reno jaunt. 15. Are you registered to vote? Actually, this year I un-registered. ^_^ 16. If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 7? Nah. I didn’t vote once in the four years I was registered. 17. Where do you live now? Back to Fallon. As it should be. 18. Describe your birthday. My actually birthday was spent on the road up to Washington for Keri’s wedding so Billy took me to Reno the previous Monday, the 23rd and let me have a Jill picks everything and buys whatever she wants day. After dropping off my parents at the airport, we went to Lady in the Water then to Olive Garden for soup salad and breadsticks. Then we went shopping and… I don’t remember what I bought. ;_; I do remember having a peanut butter cup cookie at the Toll House Shoppe in lieu of a cake! 19. What’s the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006? Quit our jobs and take a mini-retirement! If you told me 2006 would be this way when it started I would’ve laughed my head off. 20. What is one thing you regretted this year? Lending Billy’s mom and sister money. It’s caused too many heated discussions. 21. What’s something you learned about yourself? I’m really really happy being married to Billy. I think I always took it for granted. But pretty much spending 24/7 with him over the last eight months has given me even more joy than I ever could’ve expected. 22. Any new additions to your family? Our newest baby, Kyo,who got chucked out in front of Stefanie’s house while we were visting. We took her in and she made a welcome addition to the family. (Well, Bear didn’t think so for awhile.) 23. What was your best month? Anywhere between May and December. Probably not December, I was sick. But we’ve had such amazing memories while being off I can’t narrow it down.