RetroPost: 10.27.05

{Saved from Xanga} So, we'll just call this a study in self exploration. I never really know who I am. Why not do these silly thing? OK, GO! NEVER HAVE I EVER... Smoked a cigarette ~ Only a few times. Once Chris left one in my car and I lit it but couldn't go thru with it. Then, once at the drunkenest party I ever went to, then a few times here and there during my party days. I never could bring myself to be addicted- just a social smoker from time to time. Crashed a friend's car ~ Never. Back when I would've done such a thing, I was the only one with a car and/or driver's license. Stolen a car ~ Never. Missy stole my car out of spite once but it wasn't for very long. Been in love ~ I certainly hope so, seeing as I'm married! Been dumped ~ Most adolescently by my very first boyfriend, the super FREAK Roger, whom coincidentally, I started dating six years ago today. I can't believe it's been that long! Cheated on someone ~ Well... technically.... We hadn't OFFICIALLY broke up yet before I got all cuddly on Billy.... but we were pretty much there, and it was official the next day.... Sort of... Yeah. Been cheated on ~ Never. That I know of, of course. Shoplifted ~ I stole a Backstreet Boys keychain! Oh, and I sort of stole a bunch of BSB poster back in the day by smuggling them out of the ridiculous TeenBeats and such and putting them in a YM or something, and buying that magazine. Been fired ~ Well, I have this attendance problem... My first job at Ross, I didn't understand the concept and the terminated me without my knowledge, then rehired me then I quit. Then I almost got fired at Hertz... for being late all the time but that wasn't really my fault... I was doing a pretty heinous commute and they didn't understand that. But I quit before they could get the chance! They suspended me for a couple days, (after letting my drive all the way up there) and when I got back (late again) I packed up my stuff and gave back my keys and my ugly jacket! Been in a fist fight ~ Never. The best I've ever done was accidentally punching Billy in the eye. It was an ACCIDENT!!! Snuck out of your parents' house ~ I DID push the screen out of my window and practice getting in and out... but mainly, I was sneaking my boys IN! Which is probably worse... Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back ~ That's called a crush and I had so many... What fun that was... Smoked pot ~ Never. I am proud to say of all the things I have done, I never ever ever touched drugs. Not once. Gone on a blind date ~ Never. Was a blind date ~ Never. Lied to a friend ~ I have a very serious problem with making things up to make my life look more interesting. Now that I know someone else who does it... I'm annoyed by it and feel very bad for doing it at all. Skipped school ~ Yup. A few times. The first time we came back late and said forget it.... Unfortuately, we got detention for that. We had a lot of fun that afternoon, tho. Later, when I skipped again Chris worked in the office and changed it to an excused absence. Then, of course, there was all those times I was like, "I'm sick. cough cough." And got out of it just to laze around at home. I loved those days! Seen someone die ~ Never. I don't think I could deal with it. Been to Canada ~ Yes, when I was 16. It was BEAUTIFUL. I want to go back. Been to Mexico ~ Never. I've never really wanted to. Been to Jamaica ~ Never. Maybe someday, but I'm pretty content with Hawaii. Been on a plane ~ So many times!!! It's odd to think Billy's only been on a plane twice. That doesn't seem normal... Been on a train ~ Amazingly, no. Of all the travel I've done, it's never been by train. As close to that I've come is the Disneyland Railroad and the subways in New York. Been on a cruise ~ Never. I would love to go on a cruise to Alaska or a Disney Cruise. Purposely set a part of yourself on fire ~ I am very glad to say NEVER. Eaten Sushi ~ Yup! I'm not huge on it, but it can be tasty from time to time. My bachelorette party was at a sushi bar. The last time I had any was at the Japanese restaurant in Disneyland. Yum! Been skiing ~ Never. And I have no real urge to. I like the idea of getting a cute skiing outfit and sitting in the lodge sipping cocoa. Been at a concert ~ I've been to three BSB concerts and countless punk rock shows. Taken painkillers ~ I take pain killers a lot. I've gotten bad headaches, not migraines but really bad ones, for as long as I can remember. Advil is lovely. Love someone or miss someone ~ Seriously, who hasn't? Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by ~ Cloud shapes are so much fun. I feel so bad for anyone who hasn't had the chance to use their imagination like that. Made a snow angel ~ Definitely a top winter activity! Flown a kite ~ Yes, but not in forever. I just watched Mary Poppins so I'm having a kite-flying craving. That and Billy brings it up all the time. Built a sand castle ~ Hurrah! God, I wish we were in Hawaii right now. Gone puddle jumping ~ Yeah, but I'm not especially into it. Played dress up ~ Dress up was practically my entire childhood! Jumped into a pile of leaves ~ I always wanted to, but we just don't get enough leaves dropping in Nevada. After they drop, it rains and they get oogy. Gone sledding ~ Also very high on the winter to do list. Cheated while playing a game ~ I am such a sore loser... Been lonely ~ Of course, but I take it fairly well. Being an only child and all... Fallen asleep at work/school ~ Oh, I've wanted to but never have. Used a fake id ~ Never. Watched the sunset ~ I looooove sunsets. I've seen so many but I'm still in awe everytime. Felt an earthquake ~ Once in California but it was mild. I've slept thru more! Touched a snake ~ I thought and thought about this, and I've seen many snakes but I can't think of an instance where I've actually touched one. Go figure. Slept beneath the stars ~ I've slept in a tent countless times but never actually out under the stars. Been tickled ~ Of course! I'm not really into it all the time... Been robbed ~ Don't say such things! I work at a credit union and it's a fear I live with everyday since I'm the main teller. Been misunderstood ~ Who hasn't? Petted a reindeer/moose/alligator ~ Never. Where did the alligator come from? Rode a horse or any other farm animal ~ Yeah, on my seventh birthday (coincedence only) and I took "lessons" for a little while when I was about 10 or11. Won a contest ~ Nothing AMAZING unfortunately. I won a coloring contest in 2nd and 3rd grade... Then some hairbands and such online when I was 14 or 15... And $5 from an online drawing a few months ago... Run a red light/stop sign ~ Hee hee... There was the "red red red red red" incident, the running of the stop sign in driver's ed, that pointless stop sign in the WNCC parking lot... And lots of California rolls. Been suspended from school ~ Never. Work once tho'! See "Been fired..." Been in a car crash ~ Yeah... lots of fender benders... and FENCES! Had braces ~ Never. I could've gotten them for my crooked bottom teeth but they ahve such personality... Felt like an outcast/third person ~ Of course! But then, I spent most of my time making others the third wheel. Eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting? I don't think so. I've eaten WAY TOO MUCH ice cream, but never a whole tub that I can recall. Had deja vu ~ I have it All The Freakin' Time... It's rather odd... Danced in the moonlight ~ I might have... but I can't think of any one time that stands out. Liked the way you look ~ Sometimes, I just feel so CUTE! Not all the time tho'... Witnessed a crime ~ Never, thank goodness. Questioned your heart ~ Who doesn't? Been obsessed with post-it notes ~ I am thoroughly obsessed with office supplies in general. Shiny binder clips, colored plastic staplers, lined paper... LOVE IT! Squished barefoot through the mud ~ I luuuuurv that feeling! Been lost ~ I don't like asking for directions... And I tend to wander off Swam in the ocean ~ Oooh, Hawaii... Felt like dying ~ Never. I like to LIVE! Cried yourself to sleep ~ Yeah, when Chris went off to college. Wasted tears! Played cops and robbers ~ Never. Not my kind of game. Played cowboys and Indians ~ Never. Recently colored with crayons ~ Crayons make life happy! Sung karaoke ~ Never. I refuse to do such a thing! Paid for a meal with only coins ~ Yup, at Jack in the Box a long time ago when we had the beer fund box in the car. The girl at the window seemed pleased to have the change. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't ~ It's called dieting. I'm bad at it. Made prank phone calls ~ A LONG time ago my ex-friend Liz and I called Jack Dawson and asked for Rose. Far too much tweenish Titanic watching for us. Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose ~ I've laughed pretty hard but no nose shots. I've had beverages come out my nose. It burns! Caught a snowflake on your tongue ~ Yet another thing on the winter to do list! Danced in the rain ~ Just today! Written a letter to Santa Claus ~ Nope! I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Been kissed under the mistletoe ~ Never. Sounds kinda romantic... Watched the sun rise with someone you care about ~ Yep. I watched it once with Missy and once with the whole gaggle of us after Billy's grad nite. Blown bubbles ~ Oh god yes! I have bubbles at my desk just for happy time! Made a bonfire on the beach ~ Never. Crashed a party ~ Never. Gone roller skating, roller blading, and/or ice skating ~ All of the above. Ice skating was a catastrophe, but I would give it a try with Billy. Had a wish come true ~ Billy. Jumped off a bridge ~ Never even considered it... Ate dog/cat food ~ I tried Kero's kitten chow when he was little. (We miss you so much Kero!!!) I kinda want to try the dogs' peanut butter biscuits. They seem like they'd be pretty good. Told a complete stranger you loved them ~ Never. Kissed a mirror ~ I was an odd kid. I made out with poster for goodness sakes! Sang in the shower ~ It's got the best acoustics! Had a dream that you married someone ~ I was going to say yes but now that I think about it, I don't think I have. Glued your hand to something ~ Never. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - or anything frozen ~ Never! Kissed a fish ~ I've made fish faces at fish! But, no, never. Sat on a roof top ~ When I was little and my dad was putting a new roof on our old house, I spent a lot of time up there. Screamed at the top of your lungs ~ Yup! Roller coasters, BSB concerts way back when, when I'm really aggrevated. Makes ya feel better. Done a one-handed cartwheel ~ Never, two handed was enough of an effort. Talked on the phone for more than 5 hours ~ I'm not much for the phone... Stayed up all night ~ A few times here and there. Drinking, homework, just cuz.. Picked and ate an apple right off the tree ~ I've taken bitter pithy nibbles but not actually eaten it. Climbed a tree ~ I've gone up a branch or so but the thought scares me. Had a tree house ~ Never. I had a fort tho! Scared to watch scary movies alone ~ I like scary movies but I wouldn't just up and watch one without Billy. Believe in ghosts ~ I like the idea that ghosts are "the manifestations of an extreme emotion, somehow stuck in time." Have more then 30 pairs of shoes ~ Nah, but I do have a lot of shoes. Worn a really ugly outfit to school ~ It was called elementary school... Gone doorbell ditching ~ Never. Not my style. Played gay chicken ~ Never. Whatever the hell that is... Pushed/fell into a pool/hot tub w/ all your clothes on ~ No, that would make me feel yucky... Told you're hot by a complete stranger ~ Not anymore tho'... I'm a chunka chunk these days. Broken a bone ~ Never... Just a couple of mushed toes. Been easily amused ~ Oh, dear, yes. I'm doing this, aren't I? Caught a fish then ate it ~ Yup, but I don't go fishing anymore. I don't like the idea of it. Caught a butterfly and/or firefly ~ Just butterflies. They're so pretty. Laughed so hard you cried and probably peed ~ Luckily not. Cried so hard you laughed ~ I've laughed after crying but not because I was crying. Cheated on a test ~ I had to do well... Forgotten someone's name ~ I'm usually pretty good with names but when I forget, I go crazy! French braided someone's hair ~ Twice, and I'm not very good at it... Cut your own hair ~ I've trimmed off split ends from a bad perm and I've let someone cut my hair... BIG MISTAKE! Gone skinny dippin' in a pool/hot tub/lake/ocean ~ Yeah. Completely naked once and just panties once. Actually, Billy's never been so we were going to Tuesday night but it was too cold... Been threatened to be kicked out of your house ~ Never. Been kicked out your house ~ Never. Loved someone so much you would gladly die for them ~ My lovely love Billy! Ridden on top of a moving car ~ Never. Not that dumb! Snuck up on a sleeping wild animal and scared it ~ Never! Not that dumb! Woke up with a hangover but still started that morning where you left off the night before. ~ NO! I've had one nasty hangover and a few lil ones but I haven't ever started drinking again the next day. Worn same underwear for more than a day ~ Shhhh... I'm icky! Gone streaking ~ Never. Very self concious about such things! Gone into the opposite sex's restroom ~ When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Been arrested ~ Never! Yay me! Made love somewhere outside ~ Just the other day... heeheehee Fell asleep in the sun and got a second degree burn ~ Nope! I don't burn easily! Whew! That took the whole day! Interesting... Woot

RetroPost: 10.26.05

{Saved from Xanga} Being the ghost blogger and blog reader that I am, I come across really entertaining stuff from time to time. The "What Do You Need?" Game really got me laughing. You go into Google and put in "Your Name needs" and see what ya get. I was amused with mine: 1. Jill needs a firm hand and to be called on her BS. Yes, probably. 2. Jill needs to be careful about keeping her new record company happy. Nah, the greedy bastards. 3. Jill needs Jack. Ha ha. Not funny. 4. Jill needs $4000. That would be exceptionally nice! 5. Jill needs answers. Sure... 6. Jill needs a tan. Oh the deli! 7. Jill needs to wake up and smell the emotional abuse. How sad for me! Who's abusing me?!? 8. Jill needs a life. Ah, yes. I know. 9. Jill needs the specifics when this happens. What's happening? 10. Jill needs to build up a sense of self-esteem, not just because of what she knows but because of who she is. Awww, thanks! 11. Jill needs to keep her trap shut about things she knows NOTHING about and just stick to hawking her products. F you, too! 12. Jill needs our help. Please. I really do. 13. Jill needs to decide how much she enjoys that new car smell. Quite a bit, actually. OK. That's enough for me today. Luvs! Jill OK, I know I said enough for today but everbody else is doing it.... So... What Billy Needs: 1. Billy needs your lobes. OOOOkay... 2. Billy needs prayers. As does everybody. 3. Billy needs help. His have been very to the point, oui? 4. Billy needs you to share your talent and wisdom with everyone! Why he needs that, I don't know. 5. Billy needs to play. 'Tis true, or he gets grumpy. 6. Billy needs to be told off or have something explained to him. Well, he can get self-exultant sometimes. 7. Billy needs me. Of course he does! 8. Billy needs a lawyer! I don't want to know... 9. Billy needs his boots. I hope that means we're going snow-whompin'. 10. Billy needs to access a folder called "Documents". Whatever.... What My Alter Ego, Serenidy, Needs: (for searching purposes it had to be Serenity) 1. Serenidy needs a box office boost!! I don't want to be a flop! 2. Serenidy needs more time. Rush her and she'll kick ya in the nuts. 3. Serenidy needs your help. To conquer the evils of a role play world! 4. Serenidy needs no lessons in anything related to the realm of the erotic. Oooh, baby. 5. Serenidy needs a blimp. How handy would that be?!? 6. Serenidy needs a more artistic edge. Yeah, I can be a bit brash. That might soften me a bit. 7. Serenidy needs a drummer! They could play my theme music! 8. Serenidy needs surgery to fix her hip. I must've kicked them awful hard. 9. Serenidy needs all of us together. OK. That'd be fun. 10. Serenidy needs to make $80mil? OH THE DELI YAH! WOOT! OK, I'm for real done now. Too much work. Hee

RetroPost: 10.17.05

{Saved from Xanga} Wow, it's been awhile. Life has been fairly quirky as of late. Living with my parents is... an adventure. Our house isn't sold yet, so looking at houses to buy is dissapointing. We have no money to put down on a place until we sell. There was an offer on Thursday, but it was decidedly low. I pray they take our counter offer today. In the meantime, I continue to pay our mortgage, all the while living in our tiny little room with our stinky menagerie. I'm finding it hard to keep our space tidy... we have too much stuff. It worries me when I think about having a house again. I start to panic when I think about decorating a whole new house and keeping it clean. I'M SO LAZY!!!! We found the perfect house last week... Except for the fact that is was about $15K over budget. Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it), it was sold the next day. But for that fleeting moment when I thought we'd be making an offer on it, I started to panic. I shouldn't be panicky. I should be excited. In other news, Andy was down last week and hanging out with him was cool. Strange, but cool. He's in the middle of a messy divorce with his adorable newborn, Brookelyn, in the middle of it all. Seeing how adult he has too be while really not being an adult at all is so freaky. Seeing his little girl makes the slightest twinge of baby fever go through Billy and me. Also, when the boys went to Oats Park to play basketball last Tuesday, Missy and I sat on the side benches like old times... I said I was starving and she said her first thought was, "Are you pregnant?" Which is everyone's first thought about everything I say. It has been ever since we got married and probably even before that when we were living together. If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me if I was pregnant or when we were having kids... their college education would easily be funded! Anyhoo, she didn't leave it at that. She continued,"...because you should be." I was like WTF?!? Nevertheless, such shenanigans do well to put BOTB. That, and one of the bloggers I read religiously, Christina, announced she was pregnant. So it get's ya thinking. When I told Billy what Missy said, he said that he would love kids but couldn't imagine us with any as of yet. Which I understand. We're so US and I don't know how to consider an US + 1. It's so scary. Pregnancy AND Parenthood. I fear having something wrong with our baby. Today, I got onto The Nest and Christina had to let everyone know she miscarried. I ached for her and I don't even really know her. I want to cry for her. I can't even imagine going through such a thing and for this I am so scared. The idea of such responsibility when we can barely take care of ourselves is overwhelming. Dear God... watch over Christina and Bruce, whom I don't know but I know you do, during this difficult time. Please help me to overcome my fear... I am not yet worthy of such a gift. Amen.

RetroPost: Homeless

{Saved from The Nest} We are the worst bloggers in the world!!! Well, we are officially Fallon kids again. After three years of slowly moving back since we moved in together, we're here again. And we're living with my parents which my mind is fighting to grasp. My psyche just won't quite wrap around it. It nice, having a little space that's easy to keep clean- a decent family schedule that gives us our space and keeps us evenly fed- the two minute commute that is so uneventful- being able to snuggle in against Billy in the morning and hit snooze a couple times... But in being around them a lot more than I've been accustomed to as of late, I'm remembering why I was so eager to get out when I turned 18. For almost a year now, I've been spending Wednesday evening with my mom. We walk, scrapbook, watch chick flicks while Dad and Billy go play raquetball or somesuch. And I was pretty good with that... getting all buddy buddy with my mum. But now I remember that they're nuts. : ) And one of our kitties hasn't taken well to the move... She's been using our bed as a litter box while we sleep. Truly fabulous.... Yeah. Hopefully we sell our house and find a new one soon!!!! ~Serenidy~

RetroPost: 10.5.05

{Saved from Xanga} I'm wearing pants I shouldn't be wearing and I did an illogical thing this morning... First off, one of our loan officers is transfering to another branch and I was offered the job. Technically, it's a decent pay raise with good incentives if you work at them. So. logically I should've jumped at the opportunity. New positions don't open up in this branch very often... BUT after a couple of days stressing about it, I finally said "no". It took so much mental strain to get out that tiny little word. Yeah, the money would've been nice, especially while looking for a new house and failing to find anything at a price we can afford, but it's just that. Right now, Billy stressing about getting through this semester while working our butts off so we can get top dollar for our house and while living with my parents which still feels awkward and trying to get our animals settled in not knowing when we'll have a place again. With all that's going on, I don't want to add the gut wrenching of losing my cozy niche. I love my niche! And these pants have a back pocket. That is against dress code! HA! Now I wait for Amy to come back for lunch and for my mommy to pick me up. Funny, really. Amy is the one who made my niche cozy... Yay!