RetroPost: 5.24.05

{Saved from Xanga} I just found out that I am a Wavy BBQ Potato Chip and I think that's a very good thing to be. Between that and my citrus hand sanitizer that is sitting nicely next to me and the fact that when I go home, the bed will be made and the house will be straightened, today's going to be a really good day. So many things are already going well. I see nothing but sunshine and lollipops this day... May 24, I like you! ~Jilli~

RetroPost: 5.23.05

{Saved from Xanga} Well, the weekend went by entirely too fast... It's rather depressing. Oh, well... Either way, short as it was, it was fun. On Saturday, we went and saw Star Wars. Strangely, it struck a chord with me and I can't get it out of my head. Yesterday, we just made horrible lazy slobs of ourselves. The best part, I think, was lounging in bed after we woke up and reading Harry Potter. And then it was over. We have a messy house brought to you by the hurricane that is us... I am highly considering skipping Carson tonight and cleaning my heart out. I'll probably skip it either way since I'm feeling really off today. I woke up at 6 with a splitting headache, most likely spurred by the vivid dream about Chris... I haven't had one of those in damn near a year. It took an exceptionally long time to let everything go. Too long really. But once I did, everything got so much better and I was able to get our life really together. Billy and I have the best relationship! So the dream shocked the hell out of me. Way back when, the dreams made me feel wistful and sad- they messed me up for the whole rest of the day. What finally got my head on straight was thinking about what life would be like if I was still with him. When we were together, I was in high school and pretty naive about what it meant to be on your own. Thinking now about how he acted his first year out of high school, I realize that he was an irresponsible ass. I couldn't even imagine being that immature and I know for a fact there's no way he would've stood for the way I handle finances. Why set aside for vacations when you could be buying a keg every weekend?!? Um, no. So, anyway, after my epiphany, the dreams stopped completely. Even after I accidentally found out he worked at Borders and I kept seeing him over and over. Even after his parents got a loan at the credit union. So last night threw me for a loop and made me feel so dirty. After that, I tossed and turned in bed and waited for 7:15 to roll around. Once it did, my headache was duller but still there. Then, once I got moving, I felt nasueous but couldn't throw up. That feeling hung on for a good long time. I'm still feeling pretty out of it. So, of course, the pregnant thing came up again as it does everytime I feel a little bit off. This time, tho', I wouldn't be surprised. I don't think I could deal with that. Well, I'd have to. But I know if we got pregnant now, we'd be stuck in our Fernley house for a very long time. That, and I would never lose weight. Ever. So, I'm a little freaked. But whatever happens happens. Everything happens for a reason. Life rocks that way. ~Serenidy~

RetroPost: I've got the work blues...

{Saved from The Nest} It's rather unfortunate that work always seems just that much more pointless when you get back from vacation. I'm tripping out....... Hate... working... It really has nothing to do with the job. My job is easy and pays OK considering all the free benefits. It's just that working in general seems like such a waste of time. I would love to be at home right now- I would do the dishes and laundry, plant some flowers and dig out some weeds, take the dogs for a walk, make dinner for my hubby... I could totally deal with the cliche gender roles of yesteryear. Even at that tho', Billy doesn't want to work either... If only we could be independently wealthy... *sigh* I work for the days off... I am so ready for the three-day weekend coming up. I think I have a pretty good thing seeing as I look forward to and cherish each day I can spend with my husband, my gimpy boy... Last night he twisted his ankle in Tae Kwon Do. Hee! Sorry, baby, I know you're in pain! Luvz! ~Jilli~

RetroPost: 5.19.05

{Saved from Xanga} It's rather unfortunate that work always seems just that much more pointless when you get back from vacation. I'm tripping out....... Hate... working... It really has nothing to do with the job. My job is easy and pays OK considering all the free benefits. It's just that working in general seems like such a waste of time. I would love to be at home right now- I would do the dishes and laundry, plant some flowers and dig out some weeds, take the dogs for a walk, make dinner for my hubby... I could totally deal with the cliche gender roles of yesteryear. Even at that tho', Billy doesn't want to work either... If only we could be independently wealthy... *sigh* I work for the days off... I am so ready for the three-day weekend coming up. I think I have a pretty good thing seeing as I look forward to and cherish each day I can spend with my husband, my gimpy boy... Last night he twisted his ankle in Tae Kwon Do. It ruffles my feathers but I try very hard not to put myself in a situation that I know I could get hurt in. Thus the fear of heights, lack of tree-climbing, feeling no need to sky dive... Roller coasters and shoot-you-up-in-the-air/plummet-you-to-the-ground rides pretty much do it for me. Well, it's finally lunch time. Hungry Hungry Jilli!

RetroPost: 5.18.05

{Saved from Xanga} I am frickin' EXHAUSTED!!! I don't know how I'm going to make it through this day... My eyes have that "Good God, take out your contacts and go to bed!" burning feeling and my head feels like it could slam against the counter at any moment. Not to mention my bra straps are too loose and so not even my boobies are happy. I can't stop yawning and strectching and slouching... I feel old today. Plus I'm super hungry and I'm craving Burger King for some reason. Blah! ! So, in other Thompson... oooh, I just had a weird moment where the fact that my last name is Thompson made me feel a little panicky. OK, I feel better... Sorta. Weird, huh? Anyway, Monday night I paid a plethera of bills. Usually I space them out evenly, but with the vacation there was a big, gooey wad of bills that needed to be mailed off all at the same time and it made me feel funny. I don't know what it was, exactly, but ever since then I've been dwelling on the fact that the jobs we have now will no way in hell keep us going. I'm not one for change when I get comfy in my life but I'm just really confused. We used to have extra money but the car payments and hospital payments have strangled every dime out of us. We're doing OK... Exceptional when you consider how we started the year, but we can't even take the animals to the vet for shots. Raven, Puka, AND Kero all need shots. There's just no frickin' way. The really sad thing is we both need to go to the dentist and the optometrist but there's just no way until something is paid off... And it seems like we'll never pay off the car! We got it only out of necessity since we were working in different towns then. Now we don't need the other car and it's broken and unsellable!!! God, if we could sell it we would be so much better off... But here we are, stuck with a dead car and the working car is pushing 130K miles and the driver side window won't go down. (Very embarrassing in drive-thrus, let me tell ya!) We keep on paying but it never seems to go down! The fact that it decided to need expensive repairs didn't help... such is life. In happier news, Billy's hospital bill from last February is finally paid off!!! Now all we have to do is chisel down my $850 mistake! Hurrah! Well, I think I'm done venting my money woes. Luvz! Jilli!

RetroPost: 5.17.05

{Saved from Xanga} Well, we're back and Disneyland was awesome! We had the best time ever. Food, Fun, Wonderful Memories... I love my life! I feel so random right now- thoughts are going around in my head that have no particular order. Let's try, shall we? First off, *The Trip*. I don't know what it is about all things Disney that make me feel childlike and sparkly. The parade, the fireworks, even the Aladdin show got me all misty-eyed and happy. Strangely enough, my mind keeps saying, "Write about the Monte Cristo sandwich..." So, hey. On the first day we ate at the Blue Bayou and I had a Monte Cristo sandwich for the first time in my life. Ham, turkey and Swiss, deep-fried, dusted with powdered sugar and served with blackberry jelly... The oddest, most delicious thing I have ever tasted. By far my favorite sandwich in the whole world now. Also on vacation, I started another Dean Koontz book. It is my trend to pick an author and read their books until I just can't take the genre anymore. Like way back when, I was reading Mary Higgins Clark until every story seemed the same. I also did that with V.C. Andrews, mainly because the real V.C. Andrews was a crazy nutjob with demented and twisted stories that your mind couldn't quite deal with but the fake V.C. Andrews wrote fluffy dopplegangers that got old fairly quickly. In this case tho', I am enthralled with each twist and turn that Koontz dishes out. So far I have read four and each one has been so entirely different from the last. Actually, I've read five but I was like 14 or 15 when I read the first one and I wasn't in my Author Loyalty stage like I am now. So I'll probably read that one again later on. I have such an obsessive personality... Seriously, tho', the one I'm reading right now I am enthralled with! If I were to go home right now, I would sit down and read to about the middle. It's odd. With these books, I start savoring the language and delaying the endings. It's a good thing the new Harry Potter comes out soon or I'd probably hurt myself. After I finish this book I should get the third Traveling Pants book or borrow that weird book from my dad so I don't get burned out... I do that. What a strange person I am. I really love me right now. It's a weird feeling. Before vacation, we went shopping for cute clothes which I feel content in. Unfortunately, I didn't buy any jeans, just capris (cuz I have cute ankles). But I 'm not allowed to wear capris to work and this week we're allowed to wear jeans everyday... So I feel dumpy since I have no jeans that fit. I have one pair that is too tight, one pair that is too big, and the ones that are just right are ugly and/or covered in paint. Ooh, look at me ramble. Good thing this is my private blog... No one will ever read it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry... ~ Jilli!

RetroPost: Back From Disneyland

{Saved from The Nest} Well we just returned from our vacation to Disneyland. Which now I know that it's one of the happiest places on earth, next to Hawaii. I am amazed we were able to save enough to go with all the problems we have been having. Our house seems to want new everything, medical bills still pouring in (but one side of it is paid off YES!) and a bunch of other stuff. Well We went for Disney's 50th anniversary. It was packed and beyound crazy, but definityly worth it. the fireworks alone would be worth the trip for those other disney fans thinking of going. We got to stay about 4 days and it was GREAT! now back at work, I'm looking over the callender thinking of when we can take another vacation, so I can look forward to something rather then working aimlessly. So I want to go to Hawaii again, trouble is the money, does anyone out there have a couple thousand dollars I can borrow???? ~Keizo

RetroPost: 5.10.05

{Saved from Xanga} So, in just four and a half hours I am free of this place and officially ON VACATION!!! Woot! We decided to drive half way tonight and stay in Mammoth and then tomorrow we get to eat breakfast at the Stove!!! Yummy! Then, we'll drive to Bishop and stop at Schaat's to get breakfast stuff for the trip and then drive the rest of the way! I am so excited!!! Luckily, this day is going by fairly decently. It isn't flying by but it isn't creeping either, which is nice. This is going to be the best trip ever! I love going on vacation with my parents and Billy at the same time. I'm glad we all get along like we do. There's so many new perspectives- it makes it crazy fun. Especially since my parents have never been to Disneyland for more than one day and they haven't been to California Adventure and we missed a lot when we were there. That and we have reservations at awesome restaurants. Tomorrow night we get to eat at Yamabuki- Japanese food! Thursday, we get to go to the Blue Bayou! Oh my god I am so excited!!! I am going to freak out! Ooh, it's almost my lunch. One quick hour with my hubby and then there's only 3 hours and 15 minutes to go! Yes! There he is! Luvz! Jilli!

RetroPost: 5.3.05

{Saved from Xanga} Well, I most definitely spoke too soon and now I'm paying for it in spades. Yesterday on the way back from Carson, I was in a Class A Bad Mood. I don't know why. I couldn't bring myself to watch Billy's class so I had driven over to the stores and wandered aimlessly. By the time I got back I was just tired and grumpy. Then I went in for the last 20 minutes or so and watched them practice kicking. As we were about to leave, Master Chi was asking, no TELLING, Billy to come to this tournament in Milpitas. Billy got all excited but then we found out Milpitas is down by San Jose and there is just no way. I was just so pissed that he would just assume we would hop on over there... So then Billy told him we would have to see because money is tight and we're going on vacation. To which he says, "Oh this boy is rich! Vacation!" Ummm, no? We are so far from rich! We barely popped our heads over poverty level last year by $2000 dollars! We work our asses off to stay on the lower middle class line! I just happen to be good with money management and if I'm not working for an escape, it's just not worth it. I was taught how to fit a vacation in no matter what. There hasn't been one year of my life that I haven't been on vacation. Spending time with my family, having magical moments with my husband... that ranks number one on my priority list before all else. Not the mortgage, not the gas bill, not car repairs. Those will get paid and they're a part of life, but they are not my life. So we leave and I'm raging. Then I finally snap. Too much has happened and I just couldn't take it anymore and I start trying to pick a fight with Billy. Fighting and driving don't go together... I get pulled over. Huge ticket. I FREAKED out. I mean, really REALLY FREAKED. At the cop. It was bad. So now Billy is still pissed at me when we should be perfectly fine. God, what is my problem? I hate my spazzes. It reminds me of my mom when I was growing up and I don't want to be like that. I was doing so well for so long, too. I am ashamed of myself. Well, in other news, I figured out why this year has been so frickin' hard. In one of my first posts of the year, I asked God to give us strength. He's answering my prayer. By the bucket full. It's not what I had in mind but thank you. And I'm sorry for my brief lapse in stupidity. Now to get on with the day and make amends with my husband. ~Jill~

RetroPost: 5.2.05

{Saved from Xanga} When I pulled April off of my desk calendar today, seeing the big bright "GONE!" I drew across the days we'll be in Disneyland, my heart jumped and I started feeling tickly again. I honestly couldn't get anymore excited! Which is really a good thing. I mean, the world is trying to piss us off again and I just can't get in a bad mood over it. Our stupid blue car is completely broken down so now we can't sell it to pay off our hospital bill. The driver side window in the silver car got rolled down on Friday... and then in wouldn't come back up. And nobody knows why... So Fallon Glass had to force it up. Then, Saturday night, the main line for our water broke and we had no water until way into Sunday afternoon. But seriously, ever since we had our crazy bad money problems, I can't get mad! So now when something strangely bad pops up, I'm like, "Eh... oh well!" and find something happy to think about as we deal with the whatever is a hand. Onward with life... Disneyland Ho! ! Jilli! PS I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER LOVERS REESES