Tumbling Through

How strange it is that I have left this abandoned through this year. The year of uncertainty.
In just one week my Bee starts kindergarten. One week left of everything I know and we tumble on to the unknown. My parents held me back until I was 6. I understand why. She's just 5- how can I set her free in this way? I will miss her terribly. This makes being a parent far more real.
I have a friend. Emily. The little sister of the family I cannot escape. So very strange. It alters my perception of all things.
While still getting checks of a certain amount, the business is faltering. We remain uncertain. Where we will be and what it will look like is a grey area we are not allowed to see at this time.
I have gained an obscene amount of weight back. Not all the way to the worst, but well on my way. Finding the motivation to start all over again is a heavy burden to sludge through.
My parents are a constant annoyance to me. To us. More so than expected. We broached the subject of holidays in October and things have never been the same. Not that they were good. Now it's just worse. How can this be? They have no bearing in my day to day life. Why do I let them make me feel this way? Many things they do, say, think are so ridiculous, it's unbelievable.
I am 29. One year to 30. Both afraid and intrigued.
Around every turn is uncertainty.