RetroPost: 6.21.05

{Saved from Xanga} I am feeling exceptionally BLAH today. My day started with yet another blast from the past... Whitney Goings, my little boy band friend of freshman year, came in to pay her mom's loan. It was cool to see her after all this time but it totally slammed me into the wall that blocks me from having really good self esteem... The last three years has taken her from cute high school girl to completely gorgeous college chick. There was a few seconds before she figured out who I was, out of context and all that, but when she said, "I didn't even recognize you!" I got so self conscious I didn't even know how to deal with it. I'm thinking, "Yeah... that's what an extra 40 pounds and total exhaustion in life will do to ya..." Which has been resounding in my head all day and being the person that I have become, I fed it with chocolate at lunch and will continue to feed it with ice cream later this afternoon. Good Lord, I'm in such a downward spiral... help me please... , Jill