RetroPost: 8.22.05

{Saved from Xanga} Wow, it's been a long time. I just haven't been in the mood to remember anything lately, I suppose. I do feel like writing now since I'm in such an odd mind set. Weird stuff going on in my head. So, last night we finished our role play that we've been doing since January. The ending really threw me for a loop. For the first time ever, Billy gave me a love interest other than Keizo. He gave me this guy named Ash and on Saturday Ash and Serenidy got really serious. Wow, that sounds nutters. But seriously now, I've been dwelling on this and my brain doesn't know how to process it. It feels so tickly... I don't even know how to explain it. The crazy bit is, I kinda like the feeling. Anyways, I think it's just that so much is happening all at once. Kero is missing. That's killing me. We're going to move out of our first house soon. I'm feeling very nostalgic.... I feel like I'm losing everything and my life is going totally wonky. I'm excited to see where we're going from here... but I'm scared. I don't want to be this girl anymore. I want to be more like Serenidy. There's a little bit of crazy in my mind right now and it needs an outlet... When we get out of Fernley, I'm going to leave old Jill there. She can stay and wallow in her discontentment. I was born a Fallon kid... I'll forever be Fallon kid. Even living with my parents again... ODD! But maybe then, I can find that person that I used to know. The one that thought "every curb was an adventure". I lost her somewhere. ~Serenidy